Monday, January 30, 2012

Dark before the dawn

Today, feels like the dark before the dawn.  I love the lyrics to "shake it out" by florence and the machines...

And I've been fool and I've been blind
  I can never leave the past behind  
I can see no way, I can see no way  
I'm always dragging that horse around
All of his questions, such a mournful sound
Tonight I'm gonna bury that horse in the ground
'Cause I like to keep my issues drawn  
It's always darkest before the dawn

Shake it out
Shake it out
It's hard to dance with the Devil on your back
So, shake him off...

I eagerly await the dawn of tomorrow...but before then, I'll trust my Great Shepard to walk through this valley with Me, James and Jack...

A great co-worker and her chruch made a "Prayer quilt" for are some pictures.  I also wrote jack a little letter in his "Birthday Book" (A book I started when he was born for james and I to write him a letter on his birthday instead of a card ...)  I also made an impression of his footprints in plaster.  It turned out better than I had expected!  

Thank you for walking through this journey with us!

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Thursday, January 26, 2012

Time for reflection...

This week leading up to surgery has been the culmination of the past 22 months of non-stop thinking about Jack and what to do for his leg.  I feel such a sense of release - knowing we have closure and knowing throughout all of it God has a great plan for Jack.  I have dedicated Jerimiah 29:11 to Jack shortly after he was born:

" For I know the plans I have for you, declares the Lord, plans to prosper you, give you hope and a future."

I am so grateful for all your prayers and support! We truly have felt them!  It means so very much to also have been in contact with other families recently who have/and are about to undergo this same surgery for their children!!

I will not deny that every time I look at Jack's little foot, my heart aches for a brief moment. It is quickly replaced by confidence and assurance that no matter what - God will walk in this new journey along side of us - good days, sad days, wonderful days, horrible days.  He never has promised us that our life would be easy. I am glad it is not, in part, because I would not have realized that I truly can not depend on my own human ability and nature to get through the darkest of moments.  The most daunting thing for me over the next few weeks is the unknown.  I still continue to struggle with what lies ahead, and what I will feel when I see Jack's stump for the fist time, or how I will answer other children as they ask what is wrong with Jack's leg.  Perhaps, as I usually do, I am getting ahead of myself - and need to continually remind myself to take things ' day by day.'

Today,  the weather was beautiful here in Charleston.  I decided to take Jack to a nearby beach on Kiawah Island to have a little picnic, take some pictures of him before surgery, and have quiet reflection time together.  It was wonderful - Jack and I were practically the only ones on the beach!  Here are some pictures:

Special thanks to the Scaia family who sent us some special presents for Jack today in the mail!!  One was a book about Curious George goes to the Hospital along with Curious George himself!  I have been talking to Jack for a few weeks now about going to see " Dr. Mooney" at the hospital and he would give him a special cast until he gets a new foot.  This book was great, because we actually got to read about our friend curious George going through something similar.  I improvised a little bit and wrapped George's right leg in a bandage to mimic a cast - so jack could see it.   I am not sure how much he really understands, but  I am sure he understands more than I think- he is almost 2 !

Friday, January 6, 2012


Christmas day was a wonderful time for us to be together!  This year, it was just James, Jack and I. Nice and quiet.  We had a our traditional christmas morning quiche(this changes every year depending on what we decide to put in it... this year it was just bacon, spinach and goat cheese)  prosecco and pear juice and fresh fruit.  Then we started opening gifts. All gifts were for Jack.  James and I have decided not to exchange Christmas gifts as we never seem to get exactly what each other wants, and we don't want to get caught up in trying to find that 'perfect' gift for each other.  If we get anything, its usually something silly.  This year - I got James a magic 8 ball to sit on his desk at work - for advice on his new job ;)

Here are some pictures!

Trying to get a smile in front of the fireplace...

Grandma and Grandpa got me PEZ for my stocking...that's a lot of candy!

Spcial Christmas book all the Talley's recorded for us.... what a WONDERFUL gift.  Jack Loved it!

Putting together the play kitchen...with stainless-steel appliances and battery operated 'sizzle' sounds.  Play kitchens sure have come a long way....

Daddy is discovering it is better to read the directions before putting the kitchen together himself... :)

Our Christmas Dinner - Ham (with mustard glaze), wild mushroom risotto, fresh green beans with panchetta, home-made rolls.... YUM!  James is the best Chef ever!

Reading our special story together before bed Christmas night...