Character cannot be developed in ease and quiet. Only through experience of trial and suffering can the soul be strengthened, vision cleared, ambition inspired and success achieved. - Helen Keller
Today we went to see Dr. Mcfadden here in charleston regarding Jack's Right arm. He saw Jack when he was 6 weeks old and wanted to wait until he was a little older to see progress and function of his arm to make any further decisions or recommendations . I was at better place emotionally at this visit, and was more able to digest his thoughts and plan of action - or lack there of, and even ask thought-provoking questions. After what seemed to be a brief session of questions and answers, I felt like we left with little more information than we came into the appointment with, and a lot more questions... such is to be expected when Jack's arm is not so straight-forward. Thus, it is hard to give a straightforward answer. We talked about everything from extensive surgery, (transplanting fingers and toes to make "thumb") to the use of a prosthesis to doing nothing at all....
I respected his uncertainty, although at times (through the training of our society) I expected a "Let's just do this" approach and be done with it. The abstract of what to do with Jack's arm is just that - abstract.
He took a few x-rays that relieved what we had thought. Right humerus, fused elbow joint, short ulna (he could not 100% decide on the ulna vs radius) and 3 complexly fused digests (fingers). He wants us to get more detailed x-rays of his elbow joint and fingers.
So- at the end of the day, this is what we are left with. The most important thing for Jack is quality of life. Well...if you ask me it is pretty hard to try to determine what i "think" his quality of life would be given our current technology, financial resources, expertise of physicians having dealt with such rare cases...None the less, Dr. McFadden was in agreement to seek other opinions, and gave us a few names. We continue to keep our plans to see a few hand specialists affiliated with Shriners/St. Louis children's hospital in December. In the mean time, we are encouraged every day by Jack's ABILITY to use his right arm to help him hold objects. I am so grateful that he HAS a Right arm to even do things with. I tend to go through days where i still question "why" God...(how can you not?). It is easy to waste an exuberant amount of energy on "Why this, Why that"or ' is this really part of God's will"?
Isaiah 40:28 " The Lord is the everlasting God, the creator of the ends of the earth. He does not grow tired or weary, his understanding no one can fathom." No i can not fathom God's rationale for Jack, I continue to thrive on the wellspring of love, the gift of every day and the assurance of eternal life HE has given us.
